You never stop being a Pretzel. And other stories. ‎

 And before that on the show, we learned more about Mark Twain's biggest regret: that he was never up on the Jumbotron from the stands at Hartford Dark Blues games. (The Dark Blues were a perennial also-ran to their bitter rivals, the Long Island Soft Terra-Cottas.)

Tom Condon, please take note. There were some great names among the Dark Blues. Candy Cummings (possibly the inventor of the curve ball.) Orator Schaffer. Cherokee Fisher. Joe Start. Lip Pike. Live Oak Taylor (who joined when they had become the confusingly named Brooklyn Hartfords).

And, for nine unforgettable innings, Fancy O'Neil.

Also on this show, an interview with Jason Turbow, author of a very entertaining book in which major leagers explain, colorfully, what their codes of conduct are.

Oh, and Tiger Woods just wants to help people. From now on. Especially you over there in the pink top.